Columba Seraph

Not a lot to report. The kids are skilling, Demeter's climbing the medical corporate ladder, Orion invited Headmaster Vince Walter over to enjoy some salmon and inspect his fine children. Auriga stopped by to throw balls at Lepus. The kids got into private school. Like there was any doubt.
So I made a little pond for the grown-ups to fish in. I'm so tired of restocking the fridge. And I put down a little garden patch in the front yard for the kids to garden. Sparkling food for everyone!
Orion turned Sandalphon into a robot werewolf. His eyes didn't turn yellow! Lame. Demeter grew a plantbaby, a girl. Demeter's the one with the daughter, Persephone, right? Well, I already have a Persephone. Let's see. I'll name her Terpsichore. Have to keep a plant sim around at all times, don't ya know? Terpsichore is a Gemini, 10/2/2/8/9, which is weird. Demeter has the same numbers and she's a Virgo.
Okay,, I already have my next heir picked out. It's going to be Columba. You wanna know why? I don't want Ivy's nose haunting THIS family also! Orion, Reti, Lepus and Monoceros all have this nose. No, no, no, no. Her nose will die this generation!
Camelopardalis passed on. She spent her last day making candies with Columba. All the children cried. Orion cried the most. The family's down to nine friends. I don't think it's ever been that low. Ha!
Sweet. Demeter gets promoted to Chief of Staff the exact moment Columba becomes a teenager. He rolled a 4, Family Sim! Woooooo! Possible spouses: Phoebe, Artemis and Medusa. Yes, I checked.
I think Jan Tellerman is a  mobster. I just paid her off with $50. No idea what for. But she's telling me she'll leave me alone for now... What?

Welp, Terpsichore grew up. She looks exactly like Demeter. She rolled a 2. Knowledge. If Ican get her a job in Politics I can send Columba, Lepus and Monoceros to college. Right now Columba has the job in Politics.
On Reticulum and Aphrodite's lot, the couple started a larger family than planned. After remodeling and hiring a butler to help keep house and raise the children, Reticulum and Aphrodite are hving a tought time paying the bills and feeding their 4 children, Pictor, the Painter's Easel, Carina, the Keel, Nike, Goddess of Victory, and Nemesis, another Greek deity. Yet they still oblige their children everything their little hearts desire.
The kids have thir own private playground, a nursery, and a playroom. The girls even have thei own play oven in the kitchen. And the family always eats together. Their butler, Amar Dennis, Makes less of an ass of himself for this family than he did the Cygnus' and competantly conducts his business with grace and dignity. Aphrodite acheived her Life Time Want of becoming Captain Hero, and Reitculum switched to a career in Education.
Despite being nearly bankrupt and already having four kids, the family oriented couple still wants more kids. I'm tempted. Sorely. I take it back. Mr. Dennis just burned the kitchen. -sigh-
Admittedly I needed a break from the main Seraph lot. I played Epimetheus and his wife, Edith's lot and the two had a baby boy, Apollo. Epimetheus took a job in Music, and became a rock star, while Edith took a job in Show Business, I don't remember her last position. Apollo became a child right at the weekend. The only person he knows outside the family is Ariel, and they're on good terms. I'm not including the nanny, Calista. She's always a good social dump.
Hestia and Quiten Cygnus also had a baby boy, Thanatos. He's almost exactly like his father. Coeus and Stella are expecting as well. Oh. They had twins. Hydra and Nyx.
In other news, it seems as though Pallas, the sun-burned son of Atlas has the hots for Metatron's digital lover boy, Sandalphon, who is totally oblivious to Pallas' obvious attraction.
Alright! Back to business. I think I need to kick Terpsichore out on her ass. She just hangs out and makes snowmen. Lepus and Monoceros became teenagers today, so I don't beed her to be the babysitter anymore. Lepus rolls a six. Monoceros, a one. Pleasure and Wealth.
This is why I don't like plant sims. Them and vampires, and now! Werewolves. They don't go to sleep [except vampires, they just stay up all night.] Because Terpsichore is a knowledge sim, naturally she wants to be a werewolf like Orion. So I make it happen! 'Cause i'm a push over like that. I have way too many werewolves now. Not enough zombies, witches or vampires. I'd say I'm good on robots. Let's see, 6 robots, 6 playable werewolves, 3 playable witches, 2 vampires, and 1 zombie. I need to make zombies! I wonder if zombies can have kiddies. Oh, and 2 plants sims. Am I missing any monsters? I don't think so. Oh, fuck. Aliens! Well, I think I can safely say I have more than enough aliens. Okay, time for Terpsichore to rob her mother and make off with almost $100,000. Heee, I wonder if anyone's done a pooracy.
Imma call bullshit on the college thing, though. your sims can go for free. They don't pay for their classes, in fact, they GET money for completing semesters! Now, a person like me, who finds excessive funds enraging, would like that money to go to something, ANYTHING! Charity, business, luxurious vacations. (I'm not doing another vacation for this legacy, that shit took up WAY too much time." Excuse my ramblings, I'm sick. I don't mean in the head, I'm actually coughing up a lung as I write this. It's painful.
Terpsichore is away. Oh, bawls. I forgot to have her introduce Artemis to Columba. Whatevs. The weekend is coming up, Columba can head to the plaza and scope out the Cygnus babes. He has sixteen to choose from. That's taking away four, Metis, Aphrodite, Demeter and Hestia. The boy hasn't met any of them yet. Right, so Columba goes to the plaza, the first person on the scene is Theia. Beautiful. Shit. They don't hit it off well. Blargh!
Oh, oh, oh! Phoebe joins the lot! Aww, she registers as family. Welp, Columba heads home empty handed. Orion grows into an elder. He is the hottest looking old man! Oh, jeez, I did not just write that. Columba made friends with Theia via phone. Man, times are tough for Seraph teenagers. They all want to go to college, their weekends are solely dedicated to skilling, they keep rolling wants for personal electronics. It's a hard knock life, mang. Orion retired from his tv gig He and Demeter hang around and hunt bugs all day. That man gets stung by bees more that anyone else I've played. Hmm. He's lost all his neatness. He used to have 8. I wonder what happened. I wonder if that's what happens to people who become werewolves. Lepus and Monoceros brought home a couple friends and were in desperate need of aspiration, Lepus asked her friend out, Monoceros, his. They both had their frst kiss, though Lepus' date needed a little convincing. Her date denied her the first time. It crushed the girl.
Monoceros couldn't give a crap about his date, they just played with the football. Their dte wasn't a dream date, but Mooceros got a little aspiration out of Opal Raymond. Later on, Nicholas Bertino would call up Monoceros and invite him out for a night on the town. Poor Mr. Bertino. He was attacked by Countess Jeannie and turned into a vampire.
To apologize to Lepus about not kissing her, her date brought over a piano. I mean, I guess you can't have too many pianos. Lepus aint sweatin it though, the next night she had another date with someone different. This guy bought her a bust... of Tylopoda. Heeheehooha.
Lepus and Monoceros both got jobs in Gaming and Education They'll work on those while Columba unlocks Politics. Bwahahahahahaha, Dorado in a bathing suit, oh my gosh. Ksksksksks, okay, stop laughing, whew! Columba meets Artemis at Berjes' Barbershop. They start playing kicky bag and some other people butt in, but the two become friends. Poor kid, he's got no aspiration and his birthday is tomorrow. All he wants is a cell phone, gameboy and to go to college. He's going to grow up so unhappy. To cheer him up I invite over Reticulum and his brood. Columba meets Nike, Nemesis, Carina, Pictor and Reticulum; the kid just doubled his family acquaintances.
Shit, Monoceros' date, Tosha Go bought him a karaoke machine. Actually, all the kids had dates that night. Columba bombed his date, the twins blew theirs out of the water. The next day, Columba grew up mid-date, while Lepus moved in on Monoceros'! He was NOT happy. Tosha got a slap to the face, and she didnt even do anything. Lepus looked absolutely smug about it, too. That scamp!
Columba grew into... questionable attire. We have to fix this. So, Columba and Theia go out for dinner to feel each other out. Wow, they both wanted to fall in love with each other. All they had to do was kiss and their date was dreamy. That was super fast. They were engaged his first night as as an adult.
Now for a little harmless brain alteration. I know, cheating. I can't help it. Theia's everything he wants though. They're so in love I can't believe it, they even had the same turn-off. Nothing to say of the same pointy ears, the same nose, both are aliens. Hmm, she brought him a stereo after the date. To the secret attick with it! I should read the rules to see if I can use it. The handicap just says not to purchase anything from the electronics tab.
Lepus is in deep shit with everyone in the house and she doesn't even know it, silly thing. The girl, Tosha, came by to steal the newspaper and later knock over the trashcan. Bitch! That's how we get cockroaches! Hahahahahaha! She stole the gnome! During Columba's wedding! He left the lot to go steal it back! Shit, Columba and Theia only have 2 bolts for each other. How did I miss that?
Oh... he has three bolts for Artemis, though. Damn! What do I do now?! I wonder if I can get a divorce... Columba goosed Artemis just as Theia came home from work. I wonder if that's grounds for a divorce. What do you know. It is. Theia broke up with Columba, took her dog and moved the eff out.
Wow, there's a lot of hate in the house now. Monoceros hates Lepus, Lepus hates Monoceros. Orion hates Lepus. Demeter hates Columba. Columba hates Lepus... This is the most dysfunctional I've ever made a family.
Anyway, Columba gets hitched to Artemis. The first time he asked her she said no, so he had a bad memory of that as well as when she said yes.... They didnt have a ceremony this time and hit the sack right after getting hitched.  She's already pregnant. Artemis was sticking rich, too.
Lepus and Monoceros grew into adults. Not going to college sent Monoceros into aspiration failure. Poor man... Ricky Cormier just left Lepus another Karaoke machine. So I checked the handicap, it doesn't say anything about gifts so whatevs. Christ, look at that, it's already 11 pm. I need to go to bed!

So great, Tosha and Theia keep fucking up my lot. Artemis took a job in Architecture and goes into labor with a girl, Lynx. So cute! Green skin and gray eyes. Eeeeee!
I must have a penchant for making aliens look good, because Monoceros is so hot. It makes me sad I can't make him happy. I can't buy a car or stereo, I don't have a pool, so he can play Marco Polo and I don't want to buy a freaking skating rink. I don't have the space! This guy is mad with his wants. I don't think wealth sims are good for this legacy.
Yay! Columba's the Mayor! That unlocks all the other careers and the kiddies can go to college. I have six adults in the house, Orion and Demeter (who never sleep) Columba and Artemis, Lepus and Monoceros. As soon as the last two reach the top of their careers I can boot them out and get back to making babies. Camelopardalis has taken to haunting day and night, now, terrorizing any who cross her ghostly path. I think everyone, except Demeter, has pissed themselves several times. It's embarrassing!
Lynx turned into a toddler, she's been fed so much smart milk it's almost criminal. She powered through learning how to walk and walk, crap and sing, and she has more charisma than her mom. I think she toddlerfied just two days ago. She's going to be charisma capped by the time she's a child! Like I said: almost criminal.
Oh dear, oh dear, Lepus is getting really close to Michael-Servo, the two had a dream date and right after Lepus wanted to go on another one. Oh my, he brought by another stereo.
The next day Monoceros went on a date with Michaels mechainal brother, Raphael. Never mind, they had no chemistry. So I sent him out to find some one he does have chemistry with. He made quick friends with Ares Cygnus, but they didn't have chemistry either. Besides, Ares is married to Berjes. No one else showed up on the community lot. Sad business. So he went home.
Wow, Lynx really did max out her charisma as a toddler. Monoceros met Artemis' sister, Asteria and had a big crush on her. She wouldn't give him the time of day for a while, but he wore her down and the two went on a date! Lepus reached the top of Gaming! Finally! I can move someone out. That's a little messed up, I know, I kind of want to keep her, she's a total badass... someone stole our gnome again. What the balls!
The date with Asteria went well. She wants to have sex with Monoceros in a car. Freaky~ Great! I have a spouse for him when he reaches the top of his career track!
Orion passed on in permaplatness leaving his riches to Demeter, Monoceros, Lynx and Lepus. He died well, but his ghost appeared right after his death to weep over himself. Strange. Haha he scared his wife, Demeter, who was distraught to see his ghost, but still heart farted when she saw it.
Lepus left the house with a little over $100,000 in stolen property. Monoceros hit the top of Education, too. Hurray. He invited Asteria over and proposed to her right after work. She said yes. Heee. They were married and off on their honeymoon never to return again. The two made off with $125,000 as a wedding girst from their families.
Since Orion's death and Lepus and Monoseros moving out, the happy couple, Columba and Artemis have been trying to get pregnant again with very little success. They're running each other ragged. Augh! Finally!
Did I ever run off Lynx's numbers? She's an Aries, 7/9/9/7/3. Bwahahahahaha! Tethys was struck by lightning, she looks absolutely hilarious. Artemis reached the top of Architecture.
Omigosh, things are so much more peaceful without as much people. I'm not wringing my hands in worry and despair!

Well! After searching frantically for a pen that was at the desk I was sitting at! I can finally tell you that Monoceros and Asteria Seraph had twins. Jeez, they really run in the family. They had a boy, the green one, Typhon, and a girl, Hemera. Monoceros got to the top of the business career track, as was his LTW, earning himself permaplaticity, and Asteria got a job in Law, pursuing her own Life Time Want.

Columba and Artemis had another baby girl, Lyra, She looks like her older sister with the green skin and gray eyes. That's number two. That's kinda weird. Both Columba and Artemis have the twin buff, but their first two kids weren't born with a twin and conception was cray hard... Hmm.
Lynx has at least 8/10 points in all the skills and she turns into a teenager tonight. This is madness, ladies and gentlemen. Glorious, glorious madness. She rolled a 5, Pop sim. Lyra also grew up, and she's an Aries, too. 7/9/9/7/3. And Artemis goes into labor with another single baby. Oh well. It's a boy! His name is Pyxis, the Compass Box.
Oh! So I'm pretty sure I can get Columba started on that novel now. Let's see, topped out skills, and career, had three kids, is an alien. I've decided green skin counts as monstrous.

Columba Seraph

As the son of a rather eccentric werewolf chef, and a member of the infamously accursed family, Seraph, many doubted my goals of becoming mayor of our grand hamlet, Ebonwood, but I succeeded. Through no small part on my families behalf, strange as we might seem, and the support of the prestigious Cygnus family, to which mine is closely tied, I have achieved the honor of governing the province I cherish. We are families cut from the same cloth; many sorrows, tragedies, strengths and triumphs, tales of humor, suspense, horror and much drama are told by each of our families, in our history, lie in our very bones..

Though ours is a relatively new town, it is already bustling with the promise of many children and youth I see, and my soul rejoices. In them I see the prosperity of the community I was raised in and have come to love as dearly as my own children. And for my children, for all our children, I will forever strive to make ours the safest, finest, and most auspicious province, the likes of which sim-kind has ever seen!

Orion Seraph

Cam's set up on a blind date with a college kid, Jimmy Phoenix  I think he's playable. Nothing will come of it. Reticulum toddlerfies. He's a Scorpio. 10/6/10/3/6. Nice.~ This Jimmy guy is sweet, he played with Orion after the date. It was pretty darn cute.

Metis, being a mad scientist, endeavors to reanimate the dead! But her limping cohort, Grivello, misplaces her schematics! Metis must make a hurried decision, the green wires or the orange. Everyone knows green is more diabolical than orange! Green it is! Metis runs a checklist though her mind ad with brazen confidence and a cruel chuckle, she throws the switch. Sparks go flying, electricity zaps through the lab and the lights go out. Metis scrambles for the back up generator and light once again bathes her sinister laboratory; her subject once again able to enjoy the sun's soft glow. It's alive! The fern, moments before as lifeless as a corpse, is alive!
Metis has broken through the horticultural stalemate and sells her patent for a cool $55,000. Shit, I'm up to $80,000 already.
Orion and Auriga are racing to skill cap before their twin. I swear, having green skin gives Orion an unfair advantage, despite both of them getting the same smart milk and having the same parents, he just womps her in skills. Reticulum became a child. He and Orion are actually quite handsome. I am pleased. All three are children at the same time! It's so cool! That means three teenagers at the same time, too. Hmm.
Yipe! I'm being robbed again! Yes! She took one of the fountains. Take another! Take another! Bitchen! She took two of the them and booked it! Wooo! Hahahahaha, I mean, I know being robbed isn'tjive and everyone in the house wants to see Jessica Ebadi's ghost, but that's too cool. I'm almost up to $100,000 in family funds again, so I'm damn glad she took the fountains.
Dorado achieved Hall of Famer, thus earning her permaplatness and unlocking yet another career for the family. 5 careers down. Headmaster Ryan joins the family for dinner to assess the latest Seraph brood. Metis cooks the man some juicy buttery lobster, while Dorado butters him up. Fuck, Metis burned the lobster! We'll just throw that in the fridge for leftovers. He'll never know. Except I ran out of groceries! I can't win tonight. Single serving it is. We can feed our other guests the burnt lobster. Cam takes over cooking the lobster, though. I don't trust Metis anymore. Damn, he went for the burnt lobster. Shit. Oh. Despite it being burned, the food got a 44 score. Reticulum, Orion and Auriga all got into private school. Heee. Now to take care of this 'no grocery' business.

Pochi hasn't shown up lately, I keep meaning for Dorado to ask him over, but I keep focusing on the kids. Speaking of whom, Auriga and Orion  just grew into teens. Auriga rolls a 2. Knowledge! Orion a 3. Romance. Great! Yes! Poshi nibbled on Dorado! EEEEE! She's a werewolf now! AAAAA I LOVE IT! Oh dear. She has the option to 'savage' Cam. She's your sister, you sicko! Saving, saving, saving. Oh funderful! Cam set the oven on fire! She managed to put it out, but not before Gilbert, the wolf, came to bark at the flames.
The next day Dorado robbed the family coffers and sought out her own living style, with a particular beau in mind. Orion got a job in politics. A romance sim in politics, what a recipe for disaster, eh? And Death came for Granny Metis. Shit! She's being taken in her pjs. How dignified. The family sobbed all weekend, which made skilling difficult, but not impossible. Auriga, with her new Eureka! buff blew Orion out of the water in the race. Actually, it was pretty damn close. Orion was only a few hours late. They topped out their skills on the same day. These are teenagers! They still have 2 weeks of being teenagers. Oh, Orion wants to be a chef, so we're keeping our eyespeeled for that job opening.

Reticulum fast becomes a teenager and the young man rolls Family. I like this kid. Omigosh! I notice his talent is science so I dsend him outside to that telescope and he gets abducted immediately! I just wanted his fun to go up! He's capped for logic. What have I done!? At least they returned him unscathed. Teens can't get alien preggers. Heee.
Gah! Not cool, Epimetheus! Orion has to look in there for his culinary job! Grrr! Dudes' been stealing my newspapers! ... Et tu, Hades? What the fuck, guys?! No culinary jobs.
Reticulum topped all his skills. Holy shit.. playing kicky bag (otherwise known as hacky sack) with people boosts relationships like a mofo. Oh, Camelopardalis is being abducted by aliens now. I should really stop being so surprised when that happens.
Orion finally got a job in culinary the day before his birthday. Psshh. That's kinda weird. Metis is haunting during the day. Hmmm, I should be picking an heir, shouldn't I? And finding spouses. Welp, I gues I'm rolling. 1 + 2 for Auriga, 3 + 4 for Orion and 5 + 6 for Reticulum. 1. Auriga.
This generation's going to be one of the wolves! I went to Dorado and Mensa's lot and invited over Auriga, Reti tagged along, and had Dorado 'savage' Auriga. As dirty as that sounds, they just got into a little scuffle. Dorado kicked Auriga's ass. That's not cheating, right? hehe

Afterward I took Auriga, Orion and Reti out to meet some people, maybe their cousins, the Cygnus'. -wink- -wink-
 Auriga met Helios Cygnus, who is an absolute stud in her opinion. (And he's a Cygnus, so all's good.) She shares 2 bolts with him. Fabulous, I just found my next sperm donor. Maybe I should add him to the family and move him in, but I have such a limited amount of Cygnus men!
That afternoon a publisher approached Orion about writing a cookbook. Apparently Orion likes Asian cooking, so he wrote a book about that. The book sold well and Orion nets $10,000. Nice. He'll get an extra aquarium when he moves out. ... Shit, never mind. I got him fired the next day. Shit!
Auriga invited Helios over the for their first date; since both of them are knowledge sims Helios wanted to become a werewolf and Aruiga wanted to turn him into one. Later on in the date it was the only date-want they shared. I had to!
Anyway, the next day Auriga and Orion had the day off so I thew a little Cygnus bash. Athena, Aphrodite, Demeter and Helios popped over, and Vanessa Chen tagged along. Wow! Orion and Demeter have 3 bolts, unadulterated. Woot! But Auriga and Helios still only have 2 bolts. Hrmmm, troublesome, troublesome. I might have to switch my heirs.

Auriga reaches Professional Party Guest, topping the Slacker career track. That leaves Criminal, Culinary, Medicine and Politics. Ret grew up and was promoted to Bank Robber. He shares two bolts for Aphrodite. I'm thinking Orion is the next heir, he and Demeter take the reigns. Wow, he shares 3 bolts for Hestia Cugnus, too. She's married. Too late!
Oki Doki, Orion's the heir, Auriga reached the top of her career track, she can move out. And does move out, she'll be taking over Demeter's old house. Before she left she scuffled up Orion, turning him into a werewolf. Demeter and Orion were engaged later that same night. Man, I'm such a cheater.
Auriga kinda went on a ravaging spree, she turned 2 townies, Helios and Orion. She's a monster!
Orion and Demeter were married, to Demeter's delight. She married into money (even though family funds are only at $9,000.) Demeter conceives their second attempt. Generation 4 is in the works! Wooo!
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Retialready got to Criminal Mastermind?! He's only 3 days into his adulthood! Jeez! Welp, okay. Rob the house again. He's going to need a big house for Aphrodite. Luckily Orion got his job back as a dishwasher. He has to start al over again. From the beginning. It's all up to him now, though, so he's gotta get to the top of that career track! Demeter goes into labor with a boy! They [I] named him Columba (the Dove). Quick conception and Demeter gets a job in the Medical career track. Camelo retires so she can start taking care of her grandkiddies, Thank God, her helicopter was so dang loud.
Lawl, werewolves carrying babies looks freaking hilarious. Columba has green skin just like Orion. Demeter has green skin, too, but... it's just different.) Hahahha, I'm such a bastard. Orion savaged Christy Indad. I'm not sorry. Ahhh! Columba has pointy ears! Squeeee! So freaking cool! He's an Aries, 7/10/9/8/1. Pointy ears! Demeter goes into labor the same night Columba toddlerfies... to twins! Both with green skin! EEEEEE! A boy, Monoceros (the Unicorn) and a girl, Lepus (the Hare). Cam is going to have her hands super full. I hope they have pointy ears, too. Heee. Monoceros does! They both do! They all have pointy ears! Nyeeeeee!
Okay, okay. Lepus is a Libra, 6/10/2/8/9 and Monoceros is a Sorpio, 10/8/10/7/0. Ho man, these guys learn hella fast.
Woohoo! Orion's become a Celebrity Chef! Now to get started on that novel.

It's A Cookbook!

Alien Delicacies: Fauna Casserole

      3 cps Fish Scales

      2 tbs Bird Bones (crushed)

      3 frogs (Alive is preferable but not necessary) 

      2 Snake Eggs

      2 Cat's Eyes (minced)

      1 Dog Brain

      10-15 Ladybugs

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Place dog brain in center of buttered casserole dish, later in 1.5 cps fish scales, sprinkle in crushed bird bone and place frogs around brain, then add in remainder of fish scales. Top with snake eggs, sprinkle in minced cat eyes and lady bugs. Bake for 50 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes. Refrigerate leftovers.

Camelopardalis Seraph

Fair warning, folks. I'll be drinking and playing sims tonight. Why? Because I can. How's that? Bam! Woo! Caelum's novel royalty check is $2,603 and the computer room is off limits to all household members until the next heir completes their shit.

Right now the next heir looks to be Camelopardalis. First, she'd an alien, second, she's beating the hell out of Mensa in skill points. Dorado toddlerfied, what d'ya know, she's an Aries, too. 10/10/5/6/3, she is a cute little tyke. The Seraph family spent their entire weekend skilling, the girls their skill points, Caelum, his witchcraft and Metis and Dorado toddler training. I feel like a slave driver.

Caelum gets old and Mensa starts getting all kinds of hormones and aspirations. She becomes a family sim. It's kind of weird, Mensa, Cam, and Dorado all have a special talent in science. Caelum's is in Music and Dance, and Metis' is in Fitness. Pretty weird. Camelopardalis and Dorado grew up on the same day. I'm still good at this, I'm not even trying! Cam rolls a 5, pop sim.

I'm being robbed! I can't call the cops because of my handicap and I don't have a house alarm because of another handicap! Hey, nice, he took my Re-nu-nu Sphere. That thing takes up 4 squares! Aw, balls! He took my new dresser! What a prick! Everyone cried and growled.

I decided to invite over the Private School Headmaster and get the ladies into private school. I haven't decided whether or not to send them to college. I'm certain I could get them skill topped by the time they reach adulthood. Which is a bit hax. Please, don't burn the lobster, please don't burn the lobster. Yes! Mensa, Cam and Dorado get into private school. And Dorado discovered a star! Earning the family an extra $500 smackaroos. I can get my dresser back!

Yes, sir, I'm living paycheck to paycheck. The family has $329 to their name. This is how it should be! I mean, yeah, their shit is nice, but really. Rich houses are just so easy. I son't want easy. Do you think I'd have 12 house rules is I liked easy? Dude, I'm totally doing an Apocalypse Challenge after this.

I so love this. The girls from the Cygnus family just invite themselves over and call the daughters without even meeting them! Mnemosyne, Leto and Eos all call Mensa and Dorado, I presume not Camelopardalis because she's not actually part of the Cygnus family line, but whatevs.

Okay, so I'm going to be a douche to myself and make up another rule, and since Caelum had one of those original jobs, it doesn't matter that it's a little late. So! The first 10 career paths to be unlocked must be the original 10 when the game first came out. That's Athletic, Business, Crime, Culinary, Law Enforcement, Medicine, Military (which Caelum unlocked), Politics, Science and Slacker. Until these have all been topped, no family member may go to college. Ha! That's an additional rule, #13.

The reason for this is these careers generally make the least amount of money. This is a good thing, in my opinion. Metis got her job in the science career. All her kiddies are in school and the career is one of the originals, so I figured, what the heck, she did a great job raising 3 girls, she deserves to be happy. Also, I got enough bucks to get that fancy chess set and some chairs. Heee~ I have 5 people living in this house and only one bathroom. This must be remedied.

Okay okay okay, so! Mensa and Cam, they're teens yeah? There are two Cygnus guys who might be into them. Oceanus and Pallas. So I'm sending them both out to scout for those possibilities and sperm donors. Though, honestly, I've never seen Oceanus on a community lot and as far as I know Pallas digs the dudes, so this might end in complete ruin. It's hella crack I don't see Oceanus at all 'cause I always see Crius limping around everywhere and stealing folks' newspapers. It isn't fair! For a pop sim he isn't ever in public, even after dark!

At least Pallas has been calling, informing Caelum their friendship is in a bit of a bind. Let's see if Mensa can help that at all. Oh, crack! Dorado teenifies as soon as Pallas comes over! 5 as well. At least Mensa's friends with Pallas now. I have to stop Metis from living vicariously through her daughters. Not only is it unhealthy, but sadly, neither of them will go to college, which is what she keeps rolling wants for. Admittedly, that's my fault but I'm not sorry. I just don't want an easy legacy. Metis does get promoted fast, though.

Mensa and Camelopardalis have both maced out all their skill. I can't say if Dorado will, she never got that smart milk the first two did. She's well on her way, though. Hmm, Mensa and Pallas are already friends. I don't remember them meeting. And he doesn't register as a family member to her. Interesting.~

Caelum changed Mensa into a witch. 3 monsters in the family now. I don't think that's a good back up. Each witch I make gives me a cauldron and spell book  That's 5 spaces, mang. She's almost an adult now, and needs an aspiration boost, so I invite over one of her girlfriends so they could fall in love. Oh, go out on a date, too. Bwahahahahaha, it took them holding hands for both of them to fall head over heels. Mensa is now in aspiration heaven. Peace off Valerie Byall, thanks for the boost, shoo, shoo.

Cam's getting close, too. I need to send her out to meet a bunch of people. There's still a chance she might have to be the heir. Both are still in the game, um, running. Oh shit! They need jobs! Mensa got one in Law Enforcement, the other two weren't original game jobs. The next morning Cam took one in Business.

Well, Pallas is bust. Even after a dream date he and Mensa only share 2 bolts. I guess the gay thing really messes with that sort of thing. Still can't believe he's still got sunburn.

Mensa gets promotes to Detective after growing up, her first day at work, she's promoted to Lieutenant and brings home a Joseph Shahan, she has one bolt for the gray eyes fugly guy. I think I'll wait to see if Cam can land Oceanus. Poor Mensa, love in all the wrong places. Oh dear, Pallas gave Mensa an Electrodance Sphere. Does this break the electronics handicap? I mean, you don't get it from electronics and I can't delete it. I'll put it with the computer for now. Meanwhile, Mensa's scouting all the men that happen to find themselves on the lot, searching for Mr. Right. She shares two bolts for Mr. Buckingham here, and he's pleasingly good looking. Yes sir, he's going to be her beau. Woo! He got Mensa a raise in her career! Oh yes, he's the one.~

Camelopardalis turned into an adult, getting promoted to Senior Manager, let's invite Oceanus over and see what kind of chemistry they have. Oh my. They also share two bolts. Oh dear, oh dear, oh my, oh my, which one, which one. I could flip a coin. Heads Mensa, tails Camelopardalis. Heads.. Mensa.. no. I want more alien babies! Plus Oceanus is a Cygnus, they get dibs.

Second date, it's woohoo time, Cam needs to get preggers. Her first time is going to be in public, too. She's crazeh! In a photobooth. Oh yes. She gets pregnant her first time. So I need spouses? Or can I just have sperm donors for my lady heirs? 'Cause I'd really just like it if I could just have the babies without moving people in. I'll leave that question for anyone who cares to comment.

I wonder if dressers have a limit. I just spent $11,100 on toddler clothes. Oceanus stopped by and left a monolith of a fountain as a gift to Camelopardalis. Sweet man, Oceanus. Caelum kick the bucket, sending Metis into aspiration failure right before she tops out the science career track. Great! Now I'll have a crazy ghost instead of just a spiteful one! Hmm, Camelo became a business tycoon, after Caelum's insurance (which I completely forgot to look at) the family funds hot over $100,000. I thought I'd be poor! Surely enough, Metis reaches the top of Science and is now permaplat. After being declared mentally unsound, being promoted to Mad Scientist is rather fortuitous.

Cam goes into labor with twins! Woo! Two our of three just like that! A boy, Orion, and a girl, Auriga! Neither have their mothers huge eyes! It's amazing! Oh sweet, we got a magic lamp. Didn't even see the gypsy. Uhh the young man Dorado went on a date with just brought another fountain just like the other one. I can't delete these, boys, just remember that!

Mensa finally reaches top of Law Enforcement as Captain Hero! Yes, another one. Oh my, lightning keeps hitting Caelum's grave. I hope it doesn't explode. Cam invites Oceanus over to fulfill his role in this legacy. Mission complete. These Cygnus men, I tell ya. Super fertile, err, potent. I dunno. Hey! Dorado makes a very special friend!

Well, anyway. It's a crap time for Mensa to leave, what with Orion and Auriga both toddlerfying tonight. She took all the family funds, too. Seraph has $25. I love it. Hmm, Orion is an Aries, 8/9/9/7/1. He's got alien mouth. Bwahahahahaha! So does Auriga. She's a Scorpio like her dad, 8/7/9/6/4. Super milk to the rescue. Metis and Cam share the responsibilities for the twins, but with that milk and Orion and Auriga being 1/2 alien, they learn so fast. Orion faster than Auriga. That boy is a whiz kid.

Camelo goes into labor again, because these are crazy women. Another boy! Reticulum. Ret, or Reti for short. So to recap, Monster, check; all skills, check; top career level, check; 3 babies, check. I think I can start writing that novel now. Oh, Orion and Auriga grew into children. Novel completed, royalties totaling $2,966. Nice~ 2nd generation complete.

Camelopardalis

As a child I felt I was responsible for the family curse. If I hadn't been born the Cygnus family wouldn't have had their grand idea. That's some tough guilt to bear as a little girl. 

A reminder of his sin, is how my father described me. I grew up with strangers; people who couldn't ever trust me. And my father chose me to carry on the family line? I kept thinking this was all some sort of  terrible joke, but he explained to me that I'd have the most significant story to tell because of my suffering. So I'll try to tell it.

I hated the Cygnus family. Knowing my family history, I naturally dubbed them my sworn enemies, having cursed my father and his seed forever after. Not only for cursing my father, but making me a pariah in the neighborhood I grew up in.
My father searched endlessly for a cure to our dark future. He studied the ways of the dark magic that cursed us, hoping the same dark magic could reverse our fate, to no avail. He charged Mensa, my half-sister and eldest of the three of us, to carry on  his search for a cure, when he passed.
She would never stop searching, and to this day she carries on her charge. I trust that she has never given up and her faith that her family curse will be lifted. My ever persistent prayers request her finding that cure. The dark magic Hades befell us must be lifted. I cannot bear my existence continuing this atrocity.
Being raised a monster, I exasperated my efforts to win the hearts of my family, urged them to look beyond my horrible disfigurements. To my delight it seemed to work. Even Metis, who was not my mother, learned to care as much for me as her own daughters, and Mensa and Dorado were as close to me as full blood sisters. 
But at what cost? I had denied my stellar callings. To return to the heavens of this world, To leave my woes behind me and travel the stars. I was utterly ashamed of this part of me. No. I would stay and make a living here. I would not run from this doom. I would support my father and his family.
To add insult to injury I had somehow caught the eye of one of the men who constructed the curse on my family, the vampire Oceanus, during a family affair with Metis and her daughters. Considering my appearance I tried to be as friendly as possible, though not particularly to the Cygnus family. Despite this, he seemed enamored with me. He pursued me relentlessly.
It would be several years before I allowed him in my bed. His tenacity won my heart, despite my hate for his lineage. Soon I would be with child, and before the child was born my father passed, never knowing his grandchild. Mensa was charged with curing the family, and Dorado still a child yet. So it was up to me the bear the next generation of accursed Seraphs.
I gave birth to twins the autumn after my fathers passing, Orion and Auriga. Soon after Oceanus would come to call on me again. He came to ask if I wanted eternal life, to be as he was. I refused. The cost was too high. I wouldn't be able to see my children grow. I asked instead that he keep an eye on our children, and their children, after my passing. Though I didn't plan on dying anytime soon, and had a long while yet 'til I expected that to happen. We shared a bed together one last time, then I told him to never visit again or I might reconsider his offer.
I was again with child. A little goodbye present. So I gave up youth eternal for sentimentality. I guess I'm not the monster everyone thought.

Caelum Seraph

Alright, boys and girls, meet Caelum Seraph, my new legacy founder. His personal and physical make-up auto-generated and his aspiration and turn-on/offs rolled for.
Caelum is an Aries, 5/8/6/3/3. He's a Knowledge sim. He likes red-heads with glasses and is mortified of vampires. We're starting him off in college. He rolled Political Science as his major. Right, so one of my rules is to max out all skills. This will get easier as time goes on, but right now it's going to suck, so Caelum grinds away while he's in college. By the way, his LTW is to max out all skills. Lucky!
Out delightful cafeteria man, Curtis Carr, lit the kitchen on fire. Thankfully Caelum was in the bathroom, otherwise occupied. No breaks after college. He'll have to deal with those fires. It was time for him to meet the locals, perhaps scope out a few spouse possibilities. So he went out to the Library. Ha! There he met Michael, Hades and Tethys Cygnus, Caelum did not find Tethys attractive, but hit it off great with Hades. I mean, really great. We found our first monster.
Ho shit! I forgot about the knowledge aspiration benefit: Eureka! Ho ho ho, awesome! He might be a knowledge sim, but he sucks at skilling, so this'll come in so handy. I think I was uber spoiled with that Edu Bookshelf.
Alright, I'm having the same problems with this legacy as the last. My dorm mates keep sleeping in my bed and not in their own. They're the same! Homigod, I played through 3 semesters without saving. Scary! Caelum graduated Summa Cum Laude and skilled like freaking pad, he's got 64/70 skill bars! And by the time he was forced off campus he was 69/70, All he has in his inventory is his college diploma. Since it's easy making money, I figure I'll give myself more of a hard time.
So, I can't delete anything I buy from here on out. I'm going to have some crappy shit at first. By the way, this does mean walls and all that. So to start off with, Caelum gets a wall, a toilet, a shower and a fridge. That's it. There I took a picture. Mr Humble left his little present. I can't sell the damn thing and my funds are at $105. Broke as shit.
Pallas, Demeter, and Edith mosy on over to welcome the new family to Ebonwood. Pallas already heart-farted the man and Caelum doesn't look displeased. Back it up, Pallas, this one needs kids. Since there was nothing better to do, all four of them started preforming Tai Chi. Poor dude, can't even afford a bed. Caelum took a job so he could at least afford a bed. He came home promoted- then the game crashed. Not cool, yo.
This time I skipped the shower and bought a bed instead. Caelum took a job in Law, which corresponds with his diploma. Came home, was able to get the shower after all. I need to find that gypsy woman for her re-nu-nu chug. Who never came around and all the Cygnus women he tries to hit on he has negative chemistry bolts for. Wonderful. That's hella weird 'cause he gets along so well with the Cygnus men.
You know, for someone who's supposedly behind the times, Caelum really enjoys the company of Servos. He's friends with Michael, Ariel and Sandalphon. They're just really nice robots, though. He got along well with Rhea, too. No bolts, though. Augh, this sucks. I need to find that gypsy woman. Finding the right woman is going to be impossible if I can't find her. I shouldn't have rolled Caelum's turn-ons. I just realized a flaw in my handicaps. I can't write novels without a computer and I'm not allowed electronics. Shit. Umm. Never mind the Storytelling one then. Ha! Well, don't I feel like an idiot. I was so excited about that part.
Whoops, I got Caelum fired. Oh, wells. I found my Cygnus spouse! Metis! He proposed to her their first date and got married right after said date. Holy shit! They do legitly have 3 bolts for each other. That's so freaking cute! Wow, she moved in with $359 and 4 $18,000 aquariums. (I'm selling those, it's money fodder, I don't care if that's pseudo-cheating.)

Metis [Seraph] is a Gemini, 5/9/9/4/5, LTW become a mad scientist. We can do that. Let me just beef up their digs first. Right, time for marital relations. Oh, yes. Conception. Now time to make a monster out of Caelum, Well, shit. Hades can't turn him into a witch, only what's her face. Boo! Alright, fine. Square one. I want to save vampires, zombies and plant sims for last, too late to make him an alien and Pochi's a bitch to catch on the lot. [No pun intended.] Caelum will befriend Ericka Grove. Blah. Totally not excited about that. she doesn't seem to like him at all. Metis and Caelum have to stop screwing around, too. They need jobs. Caelum took one as an artist, Metis in crime.
Oh, goodie, Caelum's being abducted by aliens! Get alien pregnant! Get alien pregnant! HA! Yes! Oh, shit. They're both pregnant. What have I done?!
25 career paths. 10 generations, 3 kids per generation. Caelum and Metis can't have a nanny, so at least one is going to have to be a stay at home parent. Caelum's already permaplat. He's not good at keeping jobs anyway. But! I found him a job in the military path and Metis plays Mommy.
Metis goes into labor with a baby girl named Mensa. Then Caelum to another girl, Camelopardalis, Cam, for short. She's got her daddy's eyes. Flying tuxedo toddlers! Mensa grows up. She's an Aries like her pappi, 10/10/5/4/6. Cam toddlerfies not long after, dear hell, she's horrible. Cam's a Virgo, 10/6/4/3/3.
God bless smart milk, Mensa and Camelopardalis are skilling like crazy! The baby girls became children and Metis went into labor with another baby girl, Dorado. All girls. Funderful. Welp, that's a fantastic way to start this legacy! I'm going to bed.

So, Caelum maxed out his skills, married Metis, had 3 babies, he just needs to become a monster and reach the top of his military career. He's got 5 days before becomes an elder. Hmm, you know what? I'll be a little haxy and go to Hades' to turn Caelum. It should have been allowed anyway! Also, I figure to get around the storytelling thing, I'll make a room only accessible to the founder/heirs and that's where they'll write their novels.
Right! so, back on the Cygnus lot, Hades can't invite Caelum over for some reason, so I'm sending him to a community lot to make his dastardly move. Oh! Hahahaha, he tried inviting Caelum over in the middle of the night, that's why, okay, never mind. Caelum's on his way over. And the deed is done! Caelum joins the forces of the monster army! Back on the Seraph lot, he reaches the top og the military career track! He's a General.
Now all he's got to do is write that novel. He had the whole weekend to do it, too... He got it done in one day. All his challenges have been met, yes, some rather haxily, but met, nonetheless. So the novel, the handicap requires a story, and it's up for interpretation so this is my interpretation.

Caelum Seraph

I write this with a heavy heart, for I must tell the tale of my family and why it is forever cursed, as if that's some vestige of penance for what I've done. I was a young, foolish man, fresh out of college, I thought I could take on the perils of the world, trying to prove myself a man. I thought I could handle anything.

When I met Metis Cygnus I fell madly in love, I cared not who her family was, I declared my devotion to her openly. This would cost me dearly. The Cygnus clan is rather protective and I would doom my kin forever after. To my accursed family: I am eternally ashamed. I love you.

The first to warn me was a decrepit old fool with a severe limp. He eyed my newspaper covetously, as he made his threats and I snidely yawned at them. Zombie or no, there was hardly anything he could do. I knew it. He knew it, but I should have taken his threats seriously. If I had shown the slightest bit of humility, none of this might've happened.

The second came under the cover of night, in a suit, which I thought was sort of pretentious. I get on well with Hades, though, honestly, I don't know what he'd wear if he didn't have that warlock garb. Anyway, vampires creep me out. Oceanus seemed to innately understand this about me and terrorized me relentlessly. Standing at my window, watching me. Really rather upsetting. I was determined, however. My love for Metis would not waver.

I pursued her despite the maddening stalker activity of her.. uncle? nephew? I'm not sure of their lineage. Hades, the old witch, surely knew of our affair, but we never discussed the matter. Surely Metis was getting heat from her family to discontinue our courtship. That she was still in it at the end of the day fueled my conviction. Love of defiance, love for each other, classic Romeo and Juliet, right?

We stole away one day, in my passion I confessed my everlasting love and asked her to be my wife. We married in secret. That was my fault. And it was a grave mistake. Had we wed openly, as I'd have been proud to do, I might not have forsaken my own lineage.

I lost touch with Hades for a while after that. Made enemies of her whole family, but we were happy. Metis was soon with child. During her pregnancy, I felt on top of the world. In my mind I had beaten her family, and my ego had swelled. That, with my insatiable curiosity would get the better of me, and I took on the forces in the heavens. There I found not angels, but devils. The atrocities they brought upon me made the vampires torture look like child's play.

I will never forget.

To make sure I don't, they left me with-... what to call her. A reminder of my sin. As time passed I put on weight. I'd be as big as Metis during her last days of pregnancy, and a few days after our daughter, Mensa was born, I, too, brought a child into the world, Camelopardalis. I would keep her as close to me as I would Mensa.

This seemed to spark the creativity of the Cygnus family. Mensa and Camelopardalis were growing up nicely, Metis was again with child, we two ever in love as we ever were, and I was starting to feel my oats, if that's the phrase. This is when Hades invited me to his estate. Having not heard form him in a while, I was apprehensive. I had reason to, as well.

His family could not overlook my brazen disrespect, but he wouldn't hurt Metis by taking me away from her, or our children. After my ordeal with the demons in the sky I had learned humility, and I would accept my punishment, whatever it cost me.

Hades hung his head. He explained it wouldn't be just me who paid for my sins. It'd be my children, and my children's children. Hades, a man who considered me his friend, had to curse my family line for eternity. This was not only my punishment, but the only way his family would ever recognize Metis' children as part as their family. Which made the next part kind of weird. My forbears would be allowed to bear children from their family line.

I told him there was no way I'd agree to that, but there was nothing he could do. He took out his wand and this eerie green glow surged around him, then me and it hit me. What he was talking about, what this curse was. My kin destined to carry on my family line would end up ... unnatural. I was becoming unnatural. This is the legacy I bring.

Because I'm Sick in the Head

I'm starting another legacy. You heard me. Another one. In the same neighborhood, no less. Do I have anything special planned? A theme, maybe? Nooo~
But! I do have some handicaps and rules planned out:
Handicaps:
"Storyteller"
Your family's story is told to the world.
Restrictions:
At least one novel must be written and completed per generation by that generation's heir, excluding the 10th. It does not matter how well or poorly these novels sell or the creativity of the heir.
You must write a story for your family.
This handicap is very hard to define by hard and fast rules. I cannot say what exactly constitutes as a "story" or not. The purpose of this bonus is to reward those who write stories for their families. I'll let you be the judge of yourself, if what you write counts as a story. It does not matter how well-rated your story is by the exchange. It is recommended that you upload your story and family lot once per generation, but it's not a requirement. This part of handicap is left 100% to interpretation. (The first part must be followed to earn the points, however. That much I can clearly define).

"Free Roaming Ghosts"Your founder feels that the deceased must be allowed to roam their old homes fully or they will become wrathful.
Restrictions:
-Sim graves and urns may never be deleted or sold, even if smashed.
-Sim graves and urns may never be placed into a sim's inventory
-The graves and urns must be placed in a manner that allows the ghosts to travel freely on the entire lot. A ghost must be able to travel to any part of the lot from where their marker lies.

"True Love"
Your founder believes in the concept of soul mates. Rather than settle for anybody else, your founder and all their heirs must hold out for the perfect mate before having children. 
Restrictions:
-Your founder and each heir may only have children with sims they have a 3 lightning bolt relationship with (3LB).
-They may move in and even marry other sims, but the sim that brings in the next generation must have 3 lightning bolts with the founder/heir.
-For 3LB relationships that are based on situational turn-ons, such as perfume, stink and clothing, the relationship only needs to be 3LBs at the time of the next generation's conception. (When you select the "try for baby" command, they must have 3LBs). It may drop below 3LBs afterwards.

"One way street"For one reason or another, most elixir doesn't work on the family. Only super-concentrated cowplant elixir can affect how long they live.
Restrictions:
Your sims may never use the elixir of life from the aspiration reward menu.
Cow plant elixir may still be used.
You may still purchase bottles of elixir to earn collection points.

"Behind the times"Your founder is very old fashioned and technophobic and discourages the whole family to use these "new fangled contraptions"
Restrictions:
Your sims may not purchase any items from the "Electronics" item category exept for the old fashioned style cash register and the phone.
No member of the family may purchase personal electronics.

"Fearless"
Your founder isn't afraid of taking chances and has promoted risk-taking over playing it safe in the family's culture.
Restrictions:
Whenever any sim is presented with a chance card, you MUST select one of the two options. You may not choose "Ignore"
Whenever an electric object breaks in the house, you may not call a repair man or influence another sim to repair it. A member of the family must repair the object.
Your sims may not purchase a burglar alarm in the house or in a car.

Notes: Always make sure to produce at least one spare heir or make a non-essiential sim repair broken objects.
Broken objects that carry no risk of electrocution (such as broken showers or clogged toilets) may be repaired by the repair man or have a sim influenced to repair.

"Do it yourself"Your founder has instilled a strong sense of self-reliance in the family (or a strong distrust of service workers).
Restrictions:
Your sims may never hire any sims from the "Service" or "Delivery" menu on the phone.
Sims at college are still under this restriction.
The family may NOT activate, move-in or marry in a Servo.

Notes: Your sims may not use influence to make other people perform service tasks.
You may still have service or delivery sims move in or marry into the family.
The family may still manufacture and/or sell Servos, as long as they don't activate them.

My own rules:

1. All skill points learned.

2. Not allowed to delete anything (In both building and buying mode).

3. Reach top of EVERY career path. (One career path per person.)

4. Each generation must be alien, vampire, zombie, werewolf, plant sim or witch. Legacy requires one of each.

5. Each heir must produce at least 3 children.

That's 7 handicaps and 5 additional rules. Oh oh! Because of my fourth rule, I can call this a Monstracy. Get it?! Monster and Legacy! (Going for a play on Monstrosity.) Oh yes, I'm clever.

Now all these rules and handicaps are to make up for one major cheat: I'll be encouraging my founder and heirs to marry in spouses from the Cygnus family. I know that's technically against the rules, but I want the siblings of my Cygnus family to have stories of their own. Okay, so that's my evil plan. Wish me luck!~